smoke and mirrors

This is what the kitchen looks like now. Just wait until folks start opening up cabinets. There's at least a 50% chance that we take some poor unsuspecting visitor out with an avalanche of canned goods. Death by crashing garbanzo beans is a pretty awful way to go, but my plan is to soften the blow with added cash incentives at closing. "Yes, I took out your wife with my falling tower of beans, but, c'mon $2500 toward the closing has to take some of the sting out. We can still do business, right?" I've priced the place aggressively enough that I'll at least force my man to think about it.

Place goes on market in few days. We'll take walk-ins over the weekend and probably plan for an Open House next week. I'm working on my bread-making skills so the place smells just right for prospective buyers. Personally, I'd go for the smell of bacon sizzling away, but that idea was shot down. Besides, bacon grease all over the flyers might turn people off. I get it. When I start working as a selling agent in a few years, I'll employ the bacon bit (thank you, thank you very much), plus I'll go with a really hard sell by locking the door behind folks after they cross the threshold. It'll be kinda like how car salesmen work you over at the dealership, only scarier because of the bacon and whole prisoner motif. I have to flesh out the details, but that's the general direction I'll head in.